I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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