dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize