peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I think my vagina is haunted
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize