Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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