billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
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If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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