you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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