i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize