I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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