The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize