Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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