I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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