there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize