So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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