i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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