flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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