she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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