i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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