I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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