idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
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I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
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I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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