I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize