u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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