Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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