New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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