dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
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Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
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Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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