ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
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I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
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she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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