i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize