so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
tell me about the eggs
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize