So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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