just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
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NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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