haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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