I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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