Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize