dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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