i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My ass is underappreciated
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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