even my farts smell like vagina
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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