one might say we're banned from that church
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
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Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
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She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize