he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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