my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize