Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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