Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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