just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize