College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Randomize