He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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