In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
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The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
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Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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