I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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