Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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