My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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