I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize