Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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