I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize